Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Poopydoo

My eyes! MY EYES! I don't think I'll ever recover! I will never see my child the same way again! We were winding down towards the second nap of the day, whatching the Westminster Dog Show on USA. There I was minding my own business, when I look over and see Morgan standing behind one of the bar stools in the living room. She often goes back there to "hide" from me. By the way she was looking, however, I had a feeling she was up to something "down below". I looked away for a minute, and while I did so, she stepped away from the stool, and proceeded around the room. It was when I saw her backside that I noticed the trouble I was going to be in. She was wearing pants, a t-shirt, and a zipped sweathirt. On the back of the sweatshirt, however, was a wet, chunky, brown strip of ick that was certain to spell trouble. I immediately jumped up, grabbed her, and raced her into her room.
I didn't know where to begin. She didn't understand what was going on and wanted to sit down, but I didn't want her to get anything on the carpet. As I began undressing her, I became covered. Covered in caca. Pants, socks, sweatshirt, shirt, and then it came to the diaper. I picked her up, layed her down on her changing table, and started to clean. Then she stuck her left hand down. Then her right. I was battling for my life.
I'm a mom. I can handle poop. I can do poop. Do it every day. But this has occurred on the backside of the Today show this morning, where Matt Lauer just finished a story about fecal germs in taxi cabs, and vaginal germs on the railing of the escalators at your local mall, so, as I was trying to scrub my child, I was counting the germs. They were everywhere.
After I got her wiped off, we went straight to the tub. I filled it up as I proceeded to dump her outfit, changing table cover, and a random sweater that I used to deflect some of the gunk, into the washer. I poured in some OxyClean, and turned it on Hot. Rinse. Repeat.
While the water was filling I went on a quick tour of the house with a Clorox bathroom wipe. And then I saw it. Ick. On the wall. On the floor. I thought I was going to be sick.
Now my house smells like bleach. I am glad it's a nice day so that I can open the window and not worry about giving Morgan pneumonia as I attempt to air out the house.
I was completely grossed out. This was a blowout of massive proportions. She hasn't done one of these in 6 months.
My only saving grace was the fact that we were at the office picking up a few things not an hour before this happened. What would I have done if this had happened there? I hadn't even brought her diaper bag with us. This was a lesson learned. Always be prepared. Isn't that the boyscout motto? Where was Steve when I needed him?

1 Comments:

At February 15, 2005 3:39 PM, Blogger Sabrina said...

Oh GOD, I just about peed myself on this one.... haven't laughed that hard in weeks! Glad you got your little princess all cleaned up! At least she hadn't started finger painting!

 

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