Reflecting....

Man..... I'm glad 9/11 is overwith. I had a stomache all day yesterday. What a different world we live in post 9/11 in the USA.....

Is it wrong to be grateful we didn't live in New York in 2001? I feel so guilty and selfish at the same time... because I know that if we lived in New York, you bet Steve would have been in one of those towers. He is in league with a brotherhood of heroes, who will sacrifice their own lives to save others. They don't even think twice. Is it selfish to just want him to come home to me and our family?

Everyone wanted to come out..... and hundreds of firefighters went in. 343 firefighers/paramedics never went home again. In total 3051 children lost a parent that day.... and I'm so glad they weren't mine. I feel so guilty about that.

Every day there's a small part of me that wonders if he will come home safely. I try not to live pessimistically, because you need to live your life, not be scared to live your life, but I still worry. I have dreams of being old and grey with this man, our children growing up in the same home with parent's who love each other, children who come to visit us with their children, and their children's children..... and I want Steve to be there. I want all of us to be there.

I don't want to forget 9/11, because it is important to never forget. But I hope we can work towards world peace, or whirled peas, as they say...... because I don't want to see the next 9/11 at my house, and I don't want you to see it at your house either.